The Most Valuable Thing I’ve Gained From Sugar Dating

26 Nov

My year in sugar land has enriched me. I’ve managed to save enough to fund the next part of my life plan, I’ve been gifted all the electronic gadgetry I’ve wanted this year, I’ve had ample time to read and study new topics, but the most valuable things I’ve gained are:

  1. The conviction that success (at least in the form of wealth) is readily attainable
  2. The conviction that monetary success does not in any way ensure happiness or quality of life

Sure, I may have known this before. I mean, everyone does, right? But before I knew it in the way that we all know that we need oxygen. Now, I understand it in the way an asthmatic understands that we need oxygen.

I used to entertain the belief that millionaires had some sort of secret. A secret that they learned about the world at some point in their lives. A secret that enabled them to navigate through life accruing success after success after success.

Upon entering the sugar world, I talked to every sugar daddy I met, hoping to find out the secret. I insisted on being taken out to dinner, to drinks, over which I listened to them talk about their lives. How was their childhood? What had they majored in? What was their first job? How did they enter their industry? What did they do in their 20s? What were their interests? What were their obsessions?

And throughout it all, I would try to dissect the way their minds worked.

And this is what I learned: The secret to success isn’t a secret. Most of the sugar daddies I met weren’t particularly expansive, or particularly intelligent, or really exceptional in any way. (Oh, except one, who was really impressive overall). Yet, they were really successful in their industries. And the “secret” to their success seemed to be that they were all really passionate about what they did and thus, worked really hard at it and became really good at it.

The difference between ordinary people and successful people seems to be that for ordinary people, work is just a job that gives them money. For successful people, work is a passion that gives them an opportunity to realize their vision.

The more important thing I fully realized is that no matter what sort of material success you gain, it does not ensure happiness nor does it increase your quality of life.

Quality of life really does come from a wealth of experiences and people whose company you enjoy. If a high net worth comes at the price of a high quality of life, I now positively know that it’s just not worth it.


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