Sugar Relationship = Prostitution?

10 Jun

This is probably the most common question (and assumption) made in regard to the sugar relationship. Is it a watered-down, glorified version of prostitution?

The answer: yes and no and everything in between.

Truth is, anything in this world involving human relationships is not black or white, yes or no. We humans, we’re pretty complex. And when we get together, our individual complexities determine the dynamic of the relationship that occurs.

Take for example, a very common relationship: friendship. The dictionary defines friendship as “a relationship between friends.” What this relationship consists of varies greatly depending on the quality of the individuals involved.

People obviously have different definitions for friendship. Some consider friends to be people who provide generous emotional and social support. Some consider friends to be those who provide ample networking and ladder-climbing opportunities. Some consider friends to be those who mirror and reinforce their own self-image in the public eye. And so on and so on.

Whereas typically, society associates friendship with caring and support, anyone who has lived among people know that the actual relationship depends on the people involved, leading to neologisms such as “frenemies” and “friends-with-benefits.”

A more accurate example of the importance of the people involved in a relationship is the institution of marriage. In some marriages, the wife stays home while the husband provides for all her material needs. She may or may not do household work or raise the kids, depending on her husband’s level of income. Some see this as a socially-sanctioned form of prostitution. In some marriages, the wife is entirely beholden to the husband’s will. While sanctioned by some societies, this could be seen as a thinly-veiled form of slavery.

Anyway, my point is that relationships are complicated and the actual substance of a relationship depends not on the label by which it is called, but the dynamic and the motivations of the people involved in it.

If a sugar daddy is purely in want of sex and a sugar baby who is purely in want of money – this is prostitution.

If a sugar daddy wants a relationship that has all the comforts of an actual relationship (support, attraction, care, interest, affection) and the sugar baby is willing to provide all this without the obligations and time investment she would typically require for a guy  – it is a convenience-based arrangement.

If a sugar daddy wants the recognition and confidence boost that the attentions of attractive, younger women provide and a sugar baby wants to live the lifestyle that a older, wealthy man can provide – it’s a mutually beneficial relationship.

Obviously, there are as many variations of sugar relationships as there are people who are engaged in them. These relationships span the range from prostitution to a real relationship and ultimately, it’s the people in the relationship that determine which side of the spectrum they want to be on.

So, how do you know what sort of sugar relationship you want to be in? You start with what you want.

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2 Responses to “Sugar Relationship = Prostitution?”

  1. simplysurrealblog June 10, 2013 at 3:13 pm #

    Besides, everyone pays for sex one way or another, monetary or not.
    Good post!

  2. Seventeen June 25, 2013 at 7:46 pm #

    To whom this may concern,

    I am emailing you regarding a story about sugar babies for Seventeen Magazine. We’re working on a piece about the sugaring lifestyle and would like to know if you would be interested in being interviewed about what you do. Any information we receive from you will be completely anonymous. If you’re interested, please contact mylife@hearst.com for more information. Thanks for your time!

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