The Best Way to Find a Sugar Daddy

6 Sep

There are varying opinions as to how to go about finding your ideal sugar daddy. The truth is – genuine sugar daddies have existed since the beginning of time. One might even argue that some men are natural sugar daddies – men who are sincerely fond of taking care of women and treating women to the best lifestyle imaginable.

These are the men who find a certain sort of satisfaction in knowing they can help you in some way. Not just by giving you money, but to improve the quality of your life. These types of men make the best sugar daddies.

So, where do you find these men?

1. Hotels
You probably know a few hotels in your area that cater to affluent locals and traveling executives. They’re probably quite price-y but you don’t need to shell out hundreds of dollars for a room to frequent their bar or lounge by their pool. Pretty yourself up, grab a book (leave the iPod at home – makes it harder to initiate a conversation), some sunscreen, and meet some potential sugar daddies!

2. Charity Events

Volunteering is a great way to both give back to others and meet quality, financially-secure men. You’ll also gain access to a range of charity events and fundraisers. Guess who’ll be in attendance at these events…quite possibly your future sugar daddy.

3. Rodeo Drive

You may not live close to the infamous Rodeo Drive, but pretty much every city and town has a swanky area catering to the rich and richer. Hit up these areas as often as you can. Even if you can’t afford the price tags in their stores, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy a latte there from time to time as you window shop (for both purses and sugar daddies)!

4. Online

The best place to find a sugar daddy is online. Many sugar daddies are quite busy and although they’d like to, may not be able to frequent the places mentioned above. Also, many sugar daddies would probably be more comfortable talking to a pretty young lady that they knew would be interested in them instead of any random stranger they might pass while shopping.

Click here for reviews of the best sites to meet a sugar daddy!

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The Most Valuable Thing I’ve Gained From Sugar Dating

26 Nov

My year in sugar land has enriched me. I’ve managed to save enough to fund the next part of my life plan, I’ve been gifted all the electronic gadgetry I’ve wanted this year, I’ve had ample time to read and study new topics, but the most valuable things I’ve gained are:

  1. The conviction that success (at least in the form of wealth) is readily attainable
  2. The conviction that monetary success does not in any way ensure happiness or quality of life

Sure, I may have known this before. I mean, everyone does, right? But before I knew it in the way that we all know that we need oxygen. Now, I understand it in the way an asthmatic understands that we need oxygen.

I used to entertain the belief that millionaires had some sort of secret. A secret that they learned about the world at some point in their lives. A secret that enabled them to navigate through life accruing success after success after success.

Upon entering the sugar world, I talked to every sugar daddy I met, hoping to find out the secret. I insisted on being taken out to dinner, to drinks, over which I listened to them talk about their lives. How was their childhood? What had they majored in? What was their first job? How did they enter their industry? What did they do in their 20s? What were their interests? What were their obsessions?

And throughout it all, I would try to dissect the way their minds worked.

And this is what I learned: The secret to success isn’t a secret. Most of the sugar daddies I met weren’t particularly expansive, or particularly intelligent, or really exceptional in any way. (Oh, except one, who was really impressive overall). Yet, they were really successful in their industries. And the “secret” to their success seemed to be that they were all really passionate about what they did and thus, worked really hard at it and became really good at it.

The difference between ordinary people and successful people seems to be that for ordinary people, work is just a job that gives them money. For successful people, work is a passion that gives them an opportunity to realize their vision.

The more important thing I fully realized is that no matter what sort of material success you gain, it does not ensure happiness nor does it increase your quality of life.

Quality of life really does come from a wealth of experiences and people whose company you enjoy. If a high net worth comes at the price of a high quality of life, I now positively know that it’s just not worth it.

The Secret to Successful Sugar Dating: Forget About the Money

30 Oct

Money is an integral part of the sugar relationship, but for a successful sugar arrangement, it should never be the focus.

I don’t care what your current financial situation is, forget about money for awhile. Forget that you don’t have money and forget that a sugar daddy can give you money.

Concentrate on the (non-monetary) things that you can get out of a sugar relationship and the value that you bring to a sugar relationship.

Focus on increasing the value you bring to a relationship. Specifically, the value that cannot be bought with money. Sex can be readily purchased. Enjoyable company cannot. Neither can connection.

This is what you need to focus on and emphasize. Obtaining steady sugar from your sugar daddy depends on cultivating a relationship that transcends money.

Sugar Baby Mentality = Slavery or Success?

13 Oct

As bad a rep as the sugar relationship may have, it can be a great way to improve yourself and increase your opportunities in this world.

On the other hand, it could also be a segue-way to a life spent in servitude.

The only thing separating these two is the mindset you have as a sugar baby.

Search your motivations right now. Do you recognize any glimpse of the moocher mentality? Well, get rid of it ’cause it’ll be detrimental not only to your sugar relationship but your entire life.

Before we excise it from your consciousness, let’s define it.

A moocher mentality is one in which you constantly seek to get something out of someone else who has created it, instead of learning to create it for yourself.

It’s a mentality in which you do not ever plan on getting rid of the middleman that separates you from what you want, be it wealth, or status, or worldliness.

It’s a mentality that wants the fish, but cannot be bothered to learn how to fish.

Let me make a key distinction before I progress: every one of us mooches at some point in our lives, be it off our parents, other guardians, friends, mentors, whatever. The difference between a successful person and a servile moocher is the desire that the mooching be ONLY A MEANS TO AN END. The end being, naturally, the ability to create whatever you want by yourself.

Some sugar babies don’t want to abandon the moocher mentality. And it’s not surprising since it’s possible for a moocher to do very well for him/herself. If you’re young, gorgeous and charming, you could live very comfortably off men who would be willing to support you.

But if you’re not using your temporary beauty and charm to create something more lasting for yourself, you’re in for the lifestyle of a typical junkie: a continuous cycle of looking for your next hit.

If you’re comfortable with the temporary ease of a moocher lifestyle, this blog is not for you.

On the other hand, if you’re a sugar baby who someday wants to be her own sugardaddy:

Adjust your focus.

What do you want from this sugar relationship? Let’s say you want to travel. Is it simply for the allure of staying in a 5-star resort somewhere beach-y? Or do you want to learn more about the world outside of America?

Most sugar daddies will want to make you happy. They’ve already been around the world, already sampled haute cuisine. And thankfully, most will let you choose what you want to do or where you want to go.

Take full advantage of this, not to simply splurge and live large, but to learn as much as you can out of the experience. Suggest a vacation in a place where you can actually sample the culture there or learn a new skill in the process. He’ll pay for your scuba certification, your wine course, etc. Make sure you take away more from a vacation than hotel soaps or memories, be sure to ask for something that improves you.

Establish an exit plan.

Being a sugar baby can be fun and easy. I spent the first 3 – 4 months of my time as a sugar baby doing mostly nothing productive. I procrastinated. I socialized. I shopped. I read fiction for hours at cafes. But, throughout this entire time, the nagging exit plan stayed on my mind.

An exit plan is simply the length of time you want the sugar relationship to last for. This is also a great way of ensuring your sugar relationship doesn’t fizz out in a short time. The length of time should be set according to the time you think it will take you to accomplish certain goals + save for the future. In the very beginning, I set my sugar exit to take place in exactly one year. That was the length of time I calculated to be necessary to work toward certain goals necessary for my future as well as save enough money to be able to survive at least one year without any help from anyone. I cannot stress enough the importance of an emergency fund.

Even as the lure of an easy-breezy sugar baby lifestyle tempts you, an exit plan will keep you focused. By establishing one in advance with your sugar daddy, you have the constant awareness that it’s only a matter of time before you have no income coming in.

An exit plan serves to remind you that you will not be a sugar baby forever and need to focus your energy and time into becoming your own sugar daddy.

Finding My Perfect Sugar Daddy

26 Sep

I decided to enter the sugar world on a whim. The thought came to me in a cafe and I traipsed home, determined to find out more about being a courtesan (I didn’t know the term sugar baby existed). I google-d information on courtesans, read through their websites, personal blogs, as well as the websites of escorts. None of it seemed quite right. I was looking for more of a traditional mistress-type role, something on-going, with a slight emotional connection but none of the obligations and trappings of a traditional romantic relationship. Oh, and I wanted single men.

So, I searched until I came across the concept of a sugar relationship. It sounded like it could be something I could do. That night, I signed up for SeekingArrangement.com, SD4me.com, and Sugardaddie.com. The latter received the most e-mails, but I wasn’t able to check them until I paid. Reviews here.

For the next two weeks, I spent all my free time sugar daddy hunting. Responding to e-mails, chatting on the phone, exchanging texts, and arranging dates consumes serious energy and time. I began an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of everyone and wrote down every detail as soon as it happened. The spreadsheet was super helpful since sugar daddies tend to be crazy busy and some will express interest in you, but need to go away for a few days or so. Writing down the little details helps you pretend you remember everything they do and all the stuff you’d previously talked about.

I went on so many sugar dates during this time. Sampling restaurants around the city was great, but most of the men I met were really not appetizing.

I met a doctor I had corresponded with via email. He seemed incredibly sophisticated. He was a fellow bibliophile, expressed concern and consideration for my transit to and from dinner, and his idea of an ideal arrangement mirrored my own. Then we met. He was clinically unattractive. On the other hand, he was a really sweet guy and the dinner was enjoyable. Until he started talking about how he wasn’t ready yet, but later I would bear him children. Ummm, no.

I also met a European guy who was soft-spoken and shy. Perfect for me, I love introverts. But I just wasn’t physically attracted to him at all. His shyness wore off 30 minutes into dinner and he declared he wanted an arrangement, then proceeded to press me for it throughout dinner. He gave me my first taste of sugar afterwards. Just pulled out all the bills he had in his pocket. It wasn’t much, a few hundred, but it was a happy feeling. A feeling that this does actually work. Over the next few days, he text-ed me in 5 minutes intervals until I snapped and blocked him.

Another guy I met was a single dad, sweet but really nervous. He went off on a monologue about something (the past?) and it was pretty obvious he was not comfortable with the whole thing. He was quite cute though.

I met a bunch more that I don’t quite recall…maybe I’ll consult my spreadsheet later.

Anyway, I started chatting with a guy in NY. We had a lot in common. I could tell from his phone manner that he was circumspect, introverted, analytical, prone to monogamy, and as cautious about sugar dating as I was. He seemed to like me too. He wanted to fly me out to see him immediately, but I was hesitant. It’s always better to meet someone on your home turf first. What if he turned out to be a psycho? Well, I googled him, did a reverse phone search, etc. He checked out. We talked more often. He offered to fly me out again and I decided to go. Good news: he was not a psycho. Bad news: he was really unattractive.

I don’t consider myself superficial. Some of my ex-boyfriends have been questionable looking and I can usually fall for a guy’s brain. But…I knew I wasn’t ever going to be attracted to this guy. And this really should’ve ended there. Yet, I’d been on the sugar dating sites for about 2 weeks by then and I knew genuine guys with sweet personalities were rare. Plus, we had similar interests so conversation was so easy. He proposed an arrangement during dinner. I said yes.

Getting Started: Sugar Baby Essentials

25 Sep

What you need before you begin sugar dating.

  1. Research. Ignore the mass media and read some real live narrative blogs of current sugar babies.
  2. A pseudonym, a mock address, a mock place of work, mock alma mater: You can eventually tell your sugar daddy all these details (except maybe your address and/or place of work) but you shouldn’t share any of these things about you until the arrangement is settled and started.
  3. Google Voice or a Skype number: Google voice is free and allows you to direct calls to your real phone, but you can’t make outgoing calls and all callers know that it’s not your real number. At the same time, it’s great for blocking numbers.  A Skype on-line number is like $20 for 3 months and you pay additionally for outgoing calls, but it functions like an actual phone, you can keep its call record separate from your real phone, and is overall more convenient. You could also just get a burn phone, but it looks weird to be carrying around an extra phone that you never use in front of your friends. You can run Skype from your smart phone so no one has to know.
  4. A trusted friend or fellow sugar baby: Pick a responsible, dependable person and contact her whenever you are going on a sugar date. Let her know your meeting point, your date’s name and phone number.
  5. An outlet. Sugar life is fun but often frustrating. It’s also difficult to try and talk to friends about your lifestyle. Make sure you have a confidante that you could unload on, be it a shrink, a friend, or a blog.

Before You Start Looking For a Sugar Daddy

22 Sep

Know what you want first.

If you’re hurting for money right now, it’s easy to gloss over this step and just start hunting for anyone who’ll fulfill the role of a sugar daddy. And whereas this might work temporarily, it’s a terribly myopic strategy.

Answering these questions first will help you find the sugar daddy that will best complement your idea of an ideal sugar relationship.

Who are you?

What are you really good at? What do you hate doing? Why are your friends friends with you? Are you a great conversationalist? Are you encouraging? Are you bubbly, the life the party? Obviously, all these answers will help you determine the type of sugar daddy you should be seeking out. It’ll also help you recognize him when you find him.

Who do you get on well with?

What kind of people piss you off? What kind of people do you click with?  Look back at your past relations and think about which guys you got along the best with, the guys that made you the most comfortable. Pick out the individual qualities that made you feel a certain way. Be sure to look for these as you choose your sugar daddy.

Spend some time mulling over these questions, and don’t move on to the next step until you have a definitive grasp of the answers.

What are your insecurities?

Whatever they are, at some point in your sugar relationship, they will come up. So before you start searching, you need to understand which parts of you need the most protection. Focus your search on finding a sugar daddy who is least likely to affect your insecurities. At some point, you’re going to thank yourself you did.